Just when you thought your evil SUV was bad enough, or fixing breakfast - your carbon footprint is now the cause of a new, frightening horror… Zombie Attacks.

Maybe the Republican Mainstreet Partnership should take up this cause. Maybe we could see an Ose-Waxman counterpart to McCain Feingold – campaign Zombie reform.

The Mainstreet Partnership website talks about global warming and the new platform being proposed by the Bay Area Liberal wing of the Republican Party – adopts Global Warming into the lexicon.

Someone please slap the Mainstreet partnership upside the head! The GOP is not the party of high gas prices, small clogged freeways and wildfires. I think the Mainstreet Partnership missed the memo -

Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

January 31st, 2008

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

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